Not even a year after I finally split from an abusive relationship, I joined the website StarNow. I was 23, and already feeling like I had missed the boat on my dreams. I put a few pictures of myself up, and a video taken of my band performing at a gig a few years prior….
Yearny Thursday: Seaman
Alright, look. The Dreamcast was ahead of its time. I will die on that hill. A hill that also has Sonic Adventure down as the best 3D Sonic game ever made, and Croc: Legend of the Gobbos as one of the most frustrating and overrated games to hit the PlayStation. Yes, I’m this hill by…
Sachen and Thin Chen: the Forgotten Heroes of Lewd Gaming
Ah, back in the days when getting hold of porn wasn’t quite as easy as it is now. While today anyone looking for a bit of a game-based thrill can just filter by hentai on Steam, it hasn’t always been that simple. And of course, these days pixelated girls/guys/others tend to be more on the…
Yearny Thursday: Steel Battalion
Oh my GOD, we need to talk about this controller. Have you ever fantasised about driving an actual tank? Well, look no further! The closest you are ever going to get is right here, in the 2002 game of Steel Battalion. That is, assuming you aren’t planning on joining the army – but all things…
8-Bit Nips and Games that are Sh*t
No, I didn’t decide to look at these late 80s/early 90s games purely because the click-through rate on the thumbnails is likely to be high. I wanted to look at them because the idea of a “sex” game on an early Nintendo console just fascinated me. Turns out, there’s a real rabbit hole to dive…
Yearny Thursday: Legend of Camelot
This week, I am yearning for The Legend of Camelot on PS2. Yes, it’s another Phoenix game. What can I say; I have a problem. An addiction, if you will. To shitty games. Legend of Camelot is another one of Phoenix’s godawful republishings of a Dingo Pictures cartoon, which they had previously made a game…
The Rare Case of the Bootleg of a Bootleg
Ooo, yes. I do love me some crappy bootleg games. Unlicensed, zero quality control, zero f*cks given. Bootleg games were absolutely rife for years, before the likes of Nintendo put their massive corporate foot down and made it harder to publish them. Many were copies of already published games, and many were simply redos of…
Sega’s Master System’s Mediocre Golfing Sesh
I have zero interest in sports or sports games but I thought it’s about time I take a look at one. And the first thing I thought of was Sega’s series of ‘Great Sports’ games. Released for the master system from the mid to late 80s, this handful of sporty titles were released accross Europe,…
Color a Dinosaur on the NES: Enough to Make Hieronymous Bosch Cry
Oh yes, I would LOVE to play a colouring game with next to no interactivity and weird epilepsy-inducing screens – said no gamer ever. Now first off; I frigging love dinosaurs. Seriously, I am mad about them. If there’s a game about dinosaurs, I’m usually there. I even endured Bethesda’s Jurrasic World for far longer…
Where’s Wally NES Game Needs to Stay Lost
Oh god, Where’s Wally books are the absolute dog’s baubles. Absolute classic kid’s book action right there, no holds barred. I never had the books as a kid, but I did have a Walker Bear annual (which I still have – it’s been nibbled to fuck by a long-passed pet bunny though) which included one…
